Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
