whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
