An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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