so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
