Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
