i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You ate ashes out of my bong
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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