I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
