I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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