Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
