Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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