I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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