Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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