im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
