I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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