You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
