its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck appropriateness.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
