It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
