But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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