Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
