i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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