What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
