Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
