she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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