my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
