So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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