people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
