Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
