just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
