Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
