He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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