wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
