ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
God, I missed his penis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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