they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
