God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
