he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
