If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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