I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
