And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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