U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
