And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
