I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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