dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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