Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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