dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
