i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
