So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
