I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
