Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
