I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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