I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
