how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
