I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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