I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
