Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
